Freshmen Speak: What is success?

I teach a class called Strategies for Success. It is a college success class, but I tend to think success can't be compartmentalized into subjects. There are some universal truths about success. I took the class on a journey of defining success yesterday. At first they gave me words like, "money, happiness, a house, admiration!" One student even said, "A dog!" Everyone laughed when I agreed (because of my little boy Henry.)


What was interesting was that when I asked them to come up with a definition in smaller groups, they excluded all of the discriptors they came up with and decided on rather vague answer like: "Its what you make of it, meeting your own goals, never giving up." They decided that success was a personal definition for each person.

One of the big struggles that emerged was that as 18 year old college students, they were often towards meeting their own ideas of success and the requirements of outside forces, specifically: Family. We discussed the difference between success as measured by outside metrics and success as defined by self.

We discovered that some people are very successful according to the standards of society, but don't feel very successful. Other people are happy with their own achievements, but don't meet any extrordinairy standards externally. Which are you?

We even talked about the "destination" of success. I posed this as a question in which I was seeking advice. I said, "I'm successful by many standards, but feel like there is so much I want to do. How do I balance this struggle?" Several students had earnest pieces of advice for me: "Appreciate where you are now, but keep working for your goals", said one. They basically told me I could feel successsful now and still work on it. The exception is the one student who said we only really know if we are successful once we are dead when we look back and decide.

How do you define success? According to external rules and labels or by internal metrics? Do you care what people think? (Of course you do!) But what is really more important? When is success determined? At the end of life, at the end of the day, after each decision, every moment?

My favorite answer came from a young lady in the back. "The only way you can fail is if you stop trying." That is a great definition of success.  What do you think?


9 Things

I write this on 9.9.09 and it inspired me to think of 9 things I can do in or for 9 minutes to to improve my life or the life of others. Here is what I came up with. I came up with two lists, one sweet, one sour, just for kicks.

The sweet list:
1. Spend 9 extra minutes at the gym.
2. Meditate for at least 9 minutes a day.
3. Spend 9 minutes writing a letter to an old friend.
4. Spend 1 minute every hour for 9 hours taking deep cleansing breaths.
5. Park in a spot 9 minutes away from my office.
6. Spend 9 minutes playing with my dog henry.
7. Think of 9 ways to increse my income.
8. Think of a sincere compliment for 9 people I come in contact with today.
9. Write a quick blog entry. :)

The sour list: (Just a bit of humor)
1. Prepare 9 meals in the Magic Bullet.
2. Walk to my office printer 14 times to find that it keeps printing the wrong direction.
3. Eat all 9 meals prepared on the magic bullet.
4. Watch 1/3 of a golden girls episode.
5. Wait for a meeting at work to start late, again.
6. Stalk 9 people on facebook.
7. Tweet about the 9 people I stalked on facebook.
8. Listen to my roommate talk about the annoying people at work.
9. Plan to teach my students using my socialist/nazi agenda.

Have an Amazing Day!

Never Never Never Give up...

One of the most important messages in life. This video sums up a major part of my message.

Authentically Britney


I went to the Britney Spears concert last night. (Photos and videos to follow on FB soon!)It was a spectacular show as expected and fun to let go and just dance. She showed up with amazing stage work, dancers, and all the spectacle one could expect at the circus. Britney didn't really sing much live, but that wasn't expected (and frankly preferred as she is no Celine or Beyonce.) The experience did make me think. Because of the intense media scrutiny of Britney's career rise and fall and rise again, we all have figured out that she isn't quite the sexy sassy vixen that she plays on stage, in real life. Despite the Cavalli, Jimmy Choo's and extensive hair extensions, she is still a home grown country girl with problems like the rest of us, maybe even more dramatic.

My point here is that, as a professional speaker, I feel like I need to live the message I teach or at least admit my shortcomings. Perhaps the entertainment world is different, but since Britney doesn't sing very much and is clearly playing a role, I couldn't help but wonder...does she feel like a fraud?

She say's she's "a put on a show, kinda girl." So maybe its all a show. Maybe we all put on a show. Do you? What show do you put on for the people around you? For yourself? How can you be more authentic, truly you?

Despite the grandeur of the show, my favorite moment was one of true authenticity. Britney's two sons were brought out to the side of the stage to watch her perform "Everytime", a pretty and classy song. When she saw them, she lit up and waved with a huge smile. At the end of the song, when the lights went down, she ran over and gave them both a kiss. The boys were swept away as to not see the remaining PG 13 portions of the concert. But that was real. It was a mom at work taking a moment to give her kids a kiss.

Take off the masks, the costumes and accents, and just be you for a moment today. ENJOY!